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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949103">The Broken Promises</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseundalkhom/pseuds/sseundalkhom'>sseundalkhom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Between Two Promises [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Broken Promises, Chance Meetings, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt, Fate &amp; Destiny, Jicheol Week, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, What Have I Done</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:02:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sseundalkhom/pseuds/sseundalkhom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Promise is meant to be broken, almost all the promises people make today, it will end to be broken. Either now or later. So does they. They have made a promise, but it crumbles down instantly</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Between Two Promises [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Broken Promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Mind to listen to Punch - Done For Me and Song Haye - Say Goodbye if you read this story, again and again</p><p>Have a good time</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>People sometimes say that promise is bound to be broken. No matter how many promises you make, it will break by the time. It tends to be broken as the day we pass, turning us into another person who accidentally forget what words we have said to someone else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, in another day, we try hard how to stick with our words, proving to people that we can hold our promise even though in the end, it is just inevitable lost we gain. When we try, the person who is tied with us just breaking the word and leaving us speechless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like how I experience right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking down the street, passing by houses and people, losing my mind in between the sweetness of the day; my memories come back to me as I idle around the familiar neighborhood. The memories of him and I. Every laughter I used to have back then, I don't recall whether I had a sincere laughter these days or feeling at home when I met familiar people from the past I shared with him. Every tear I used to hold, as I went home after the fights we had. This place contains  vestiges of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hm…" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>10 years apart from that night, 10 years away from the last day I saw you, 10 years I have tried to cease you from the story of me. Those years I have promised to forgive you, to forgive myself, to forgive ourselves who wasting to fight instead of cherishing every moment with love. After these times, I wonder if I see again, can I stick to my vow? Will I forgive you and treat you friendly like all the strangers we could meet everywhere? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or is it the other way around? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Can I not love you anymore? If we meet, can I promise myself to not waste your time? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Or is it easier for me to smile seeing you from afar?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although in truth it will never be easy for me, to not love you, to forgive you, to let you go — to be precise, to grant your wish to see me leaving from your sight. Even later I cried hard, right at the airport of the strange country, where I had no one to lean, where I had to stay away from your world; begging to Heaven if I could have a chance to go back to you, to cross your path, to fight for your love. None of these are easy for me. Even coming back here, it takes me a lot of courage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am afraid if I meet you. I am afraid if I lose control of myself and may run to you, calling out your name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, I look up to the sky. Today's sky looks different from the sky I have seen for these 10 years. Why it's beautiful here–why they look sad also today…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What destiny holds for us? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Turning to another alley, I wonder if the florist store still exists and not ruining every memory we have like the first day I met you back then. You were beautiful and lovely. I still remember when you pulled a joke or teasing as you looked at me and flowers. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Which one is the real flower, this or you?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I was taken aback that time, but I found the charm in your eyes as you spoke more. And I fell for you. Those days turned into days full of love before everything changed because of my doubts. My jealousy, my uncertainty, my doubts even every day I asked myself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>is it the right relationship we build in? Do you really love me or is it just your boasting?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Every time I looked for the light in your eyes, my gaze was distracted by your laughter, the voice that once filled the beginning of our meeting. The laughter was caused by the chatter of others, which was not from me, because I was watching you quietly. I was looking for you in my silence that time, I lost your attention, I was alone even though you were in front of me. It's not like the days I received your confession. It also was not like the nights after your proposal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Could it be that I was too sure of all your promises? So I kept all your promises and kept it to myself, convincing myself which after that night you really would always be there for me. You would keep your eyes, your word, your life for me. But I realized, your life is not about me alone, long before I came to your world without warning, the others already occupied their own portion. Even new people also have their own portion in your life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Pathetic…" I name myself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe at that time I hoped too much that your world was just me. I'm grateful now that you have a lot of people by your side and they will support you anytime, also these people will always be there for you. There's always a lot of laughter and happiness in your world, that's what I'm hoping for now. I should have prayed for you to forget my existence, so that if we cross paths one day, you just pass by me just like those strangers I meet in daily life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Like now, perhaps I hallucinate of you. Looking at your shadow from a distance, we stand in a line in different directions, you and your favorite black coat look so perfect in my eyes. Just like the past of you, waiting for me to walk down the street to release our stress until we felt exhausted and sought a small cafe for our quick dinner. Guess I miss you so much at the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Step by step I walk towards your shadow, I am more and more convinced it is the real you. But, am I ready? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>1…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>2…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>3…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lose at the count while you pass me by. You are still beautiful just like those days. And the beauty breaks all of my defenses, leaving me only to hold on to my promise for forgiving myself, to forgive you, to forgive our destiny. I stop walking and again, today is like the hard days I have been through without you and after breaking up with you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look healthier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You look happier. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can't help myself but break the promise. I give up. I blame myself. I don't blame you. I just blame my every action and my words. If I had not been selfish then, could it have ended differently?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Would we be still together if I did not recklessly love you? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Would we be still together if I set you free like the birds flying upon the blue sky? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I guess not. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was pathetic, so still be pathetic now, losing myself when I glance at you for a second. Because I know my life has become different when you came. </span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Jihoon!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turn my head, clicking my tongue when I see the one who has just called my name. They ruin my appreciation time. Right, it's been a habit if I don't have any work and end up idly staring at the sky. Because today's sky looks different than yesterday. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It looks sad albeit the blue sky is drawn brightly for today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like those beautiful memories would leave a bitter aftertaste. Like mine. A beautiful person who left an eternity bittersweet scar in my heart. The scar which make my smile more beautiful than ever, holding so much dark bleeding behind after letting someone go because of my reckless word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If only I held him to stay…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lack some inspiration?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I snort at that question. Seriously, after that day, my mind is filled by him. Every note, every lyric, every song I have produced; it's all about him, infinite ideas have flooded my mind generously. All the charts should thank my breakup. But it isn't something I should feel grateful, because over time, his shadows still adorn the place I live in. That's the main reason I don't want to sleep in my own apartment. But I don't want to sell or rent the place either. There are too many pretty memories of him that always make me smile and believe he should be all right. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Little did I pray after those nights, he shall come back here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But that wouldn't be possible, 10 years have passed. I'm still expecting him to come back. Although it is unlikely that will happen. But, that's okay. My stupid thoughts that make me have endured until this second. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Jihoon," a friend nudges me. I giggle at their antics. Indeed, they are my friends, who keep checking on my sanity and boost my energy, despite those stupid thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Seungkwan, please keep the studio safe from the dirty hands," I joke, stealing the glance at those lovebirds who intrude my workplace every single time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This younger brother probably argues with others eventually since they are so much out of control if I just let them be. Yeah, but that's better instead of staying with them for now. I need to let loose myself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today is such a bright day, I have to spend my time wisely. Strolling around, down to alley and probably cross the way to another street to find a snack to fill up my stomach; it is still fresh in my mind about him. He would run the street, seeking my presence and abruptly shoved himself to the studio. His eyes would tell me how frustrated he was, pulling me to his arm and ranting about the day and my attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I would stroke his cheek gently. Those soft chubby cheeks I long to touch and soothe, telling everything will be okay as I tell myself about my feelings towards him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that time, I often wondered if I kept my promise to always be with him. Would he continue to be with me? Wouldn't he get tired from loving me, although sometimes I did not show my feelings? But the reality is no, I broke my promise. I let him go that night. It was then, the last time it was for me to stare his back away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After that I realized, I was wrong. If my days were spent appreciating her feelings, realizing her presence, it didn't mean that he hadn't been trying to follow the atmosphere of my friend's well-being, understand my work, and in silence he stood by me. Would it end up differently?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was the one who pulled him into my world. As time passed, as if I was accustomed to his existence, I slowly ignored him and didn't realize the meaning of his silence. Probably not the least bit he observed, as I watched when being silent for so long with me. I thought all of that would be a comfortable silence, no one thought in his silence, he was waiting for me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited for me to open the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited for me to check upon him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But I had no idea back then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now, 10 years has passed by. I still have no idea about him. If I have a chance to meet him again, what shall I say to him? Will he still love me like the way it used to be? I don't want to have false hopes for my dreams with him. Because I have broken my promise to be with him to the end of time once, I have ruined our dreams to build a page of the beautiful beginning in the future, so what else I hope for if the end will be the same? I don't want to break him anymore and my heart also. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I just have to promise to wish him happiness, even if in the end it's not with me, at least I don't want any more bitterness he feels inside. I don't want to be the reason to hurt his heart the umpteenth time. Neither the other thing to break his heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, I arrive at the other side of the crowded neighborhood. I look around and notice how people preoccupy with their phones while I don't. However, a familiar figure looks like the missing person, standing right across me. He gazes at me with the eyes I have used to see back then. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is it real? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have spoken to myself for a moment, checking if it's the real person I have mentioned before. But these eyes do not blink and still believe that figure. A figure that has disappeared from my life for 10 years, finally appears again before my eyes. But I hesitate to approach him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Choi Seungcheol…" The name which have filled my mind and heart until now—the name that I long for eternity to see the person again, to embrace him in my arms. Will he be pleased to see me again?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As my feet move forward on their own, drawing myself closer to him, I am supposed to greet him but my eyes avert to somewhere else habitually. Like it was in practice to avoid having an eye-contact with him. Then I pass him by. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few metres away, my steps stop. The bustling streets at that time deprived me of reality. My heart is beating fast, everything seems fast and I can not turn back the time. Even if I want to rewind time, it's too late. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have ruined him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He deserves to be happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nevertheless, I break the silent words which I have made after losing him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have promised to not be hesitant if someday I would see him. I should have proved myself to not hesitate, approaching him even if it takes a lot of courage and putting aside my ego. In the end, I am unable to do so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hesitate just because I don't want to hurt him. Nor hurt myself. Yet eventually I did otherwise. By being a foolish man, I am afraid to confront him, even seeing him—I cannot do it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Well, promise I have vowed many times, it tends to be broken in the end. I look at the sky, searching for the answer; though it would be unanswered. The sky will not grant an answer if I don't break my words, if only I am a little braver. Those hands will fill the empty space of mine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the promise would have been fulfilled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turn back and see no trace of him. Like 10 years ago. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the terrible mistake I have done a lot in this writinf, I have a severe bad day. Well, we all have a bad day. But I wish you all get a better tomorrow from now on. <br/>Also, sorry for the hurt and the bad ending I have written so far. Because in my vision, we all do not always have a good memory and painful relationship during our life. <br/>Please don't forget to drop some comments and support for me.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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